Raising a Blue Moon

   My baby girl: I recently had surgery and had to leave you under the care of others. It was by far the hardest thing I had to do. Before my surgery, I had moments of complete hopelessness when I thought maybe that was going to be it, maybe I am not going to make it, and I am going to leave my child without her mom. Even though I trust your father and a small group of family members to take good care of you, nobody, I mean NOBODY, will ever love and care for you like I do. Exhibit A; I am writing this post at 12 am when I should be sleeping, but I can´t sleep because I am thinking of ways to stimulate you, better feed you, and of course, the old fan favorite: not kill you. I often torture myself to imagine new exciting ways you could be harmed and ways to prevent it. I hope that with time I learn to relax, but the odds are not in my favor. Luckily I am still here, alive and healthy, and you will enjoy your mother hopefully for a long, long time. But if I am gone, I ...