Raising a Blue Moon

As I am buying cute baby clothes and checking items from my "buy for Julieta" list it hits me that I will soon be responsible for another human being's life. I know, I should know this but this anxiety comes and goes. At first is more about the physical changes you are experiencing, then is about planning for when the baby arrives, so between nausea and buying stuff you barely stop and think about motherhood. I had a great mom; she was kind, sweet, extremely patient and full of wisdom. She was supportive, very involved in our lives and still continues to be one of my favorite people in the planet. My mom had imagination, a good sense of humor, she had style and she carried herself with confidence. I think if I can just be as good of a mom as she was you will be fine. But sadly, I am not my mom, I am me and all I can promise is that I will try to be the following: - I will try to have most of the answers to your questions. I will continue to read lots of books abo...

One day, hopefully in a very long time, you will experience loss like no other. People that you love will die and leave you with a profound hole in your soul. Death has always been a difficult subject to me; I am terrified of my own death, mostly because I am not sure if there is an after life, and if there is, I am not sure I will be myself in it. We all have different ways to experience grief; some joke, others cry, some get very angry, others are simply not there, they check themselves out. I cry. I lost my aunt Blanca when I was in my early twenties and it was one of the hardest loss I have ever experienced. I miss her everyday, I miss her laugh, her sense of humor, her lightness, her ability to love me. Today I lost again, my grandma just died. Everybody is really sad, but each person is sad in their own way. My way involves tears and writting about it, my dad´s way involves lots of prayers. There is no right way, no wrong way, we´ll each treasure the memories of our loved...

We were walking in the mall the other day and your father made a comment about girls dressing too provocative for their age. He said he was worried that you might try to do the same. He asked me how do we prevent that. I don't have a very specific answer for this "problem". You are probably going to rebel at some point in your life and choose things that we don't necessarily agree with, I can see the headaches ahead, but hopefully we would have taught you to love yourself and respect yourself. In today's world appearances are very important, almost more than the actual truth behind them. It is very important for me that you understand that your worth doesn't come from your looks and actual beautiful people are the ones that are kind and noble. All I can give you is my wisdom. I have struggled with my own body issues during my whole life; in Mexico the lighter your skin is the better it is, I am "morena" (brown) and my sister and my mom ...

  It recently hit me that from now on, I will not know a day without worrying. My carefree days are over. It is in my nature I can't help it. I started worrying about two or three days after I found out that I was pregnant; I worried about a possible miscarriage about money and my ability to care for another human being. Now, almost 7 months pregnant, I worry about dying while giving birth, about leaving you, this poor helpless creature behind, about postpartum depression, the baby's room (your room), etc.  And this is just the start! Soon I will be worried about daycare, about schools, about teenage boys obsessing about my daughter, about drugs, and about her leaving me to go to college. The worrying never ends, so my mother tells me and does believe that I need to say goodbye to some part of myself. The part that didn't have to worry about curfews, cursing in front of children, setting an example, etc. I think my biggest worry for you will be to make sure you ar...

My Dear Julieta, I really hope that when it is time for you to have a job, things have changed for the better. It is very tough to be a woman, standing your ground and fighting for what you believe in. Other women around me are constantly second-guessing themselves, questioning their leadership skills, their knowledge, and intelligence before even questioning the person that is doubting them, to begin with. It is our nature to assume, or better yet, this thing inside our heads that we have been raised to believe in; that everything is our fault, that there must be something wrong with what we are doing, and that we have to correct ourselves. Men don't think that way as a rule; they question their managers or leaders before assigning blame on themselves, and there must be at least the same amount of intelligent women like intelligent men. They just don't go to this dark place that often. We constantly wonder if we are making good choices. If the decisions we are making today ...

First of all, let me reassure you that you were a planned baby, no accidents, no oops, more like an aha moment for us. We got married 5 years ago in my hometown, Culiacan, Mexico, on a scorching summer day. We had a lovely Catholic ceremony at a church with air conditioning (thank God for that!), and we proceed to party the night away until 4 am. Your father and I have been together since September 30, 2006, right now, which almost equals 8 years together. We love each other (some days more than others, but that is understandable). We are thrilled to become parents, and we had some practice with our little furry son, Ewok. Both of us are children of divorce. Although the circumstances for both of our parents' divorces were different, we both agreed that it was a painful time in our lives and wouldn't wish it upon anybody.  Because of our personal history, we take this commitment very seriously. We enter our marriage a little more aware than other couples with the notion...

   I hope, when you read this, that I have raised you to be grateful. Grateful for the parents who love you, for your health, for the freedom you enjoy, and for the life we have provided for you. You are lucky, you live in a country where we are free to say what we want and to enjoy our religion, celebrate our traditions, a country that doesn't live in war. We live in a country that is considered a first-world nation, which means that your idea of what it's like to be poor is probably not very accurate unless you have done your research (in that case, I am very proud). Poverty is a strange, foreign thing for you. Besides a few homeless people in the street, you haven't seen children malnourished and begging for money, you haven't seen the filth and the desperation associated with hunger, and you haven't felt hunger, ever. You don't know what it actually means not to have a home, electricity, phone, internet, a car, an education. Your opportunities are endles...

 This title is about Jane Austen's "Pride & Prejudice" and this other book you are probably too young to read. You will get it someday (hopefully when you are thirty). Mr. Darcy is proud but kind and is willing to do anything for love. Mr. Grey is bossy and has a lot of issues, don't get me wrong, he is hot, but he is also a distraught individual. My hope for you is while choosing who to like, love, etc., you choose a Mr. Darcy type, a guy that will put you above anything else, that will challenge you and accept you for who you are. Your life will never be perfect, we don't live in a fairy tale land, but you don't have to settle for anything less than total adoration and acceptance. When I think about the men I have loved, I realize I was the happiest with a man that made me certain of his love for me, that was a shelter when I needed one, and that challenge me to become a better version of myself.  I realize that dating the hot, dangerous, and m...

    Given that I am a writer above everything else, the names have extra special meaning for me. I am the third Maria Luisa in my family. My grandmother was named Maria Luisa, and her first daughter (my mother) was named Maria Luisa. It took me about 15 years to make peace with my name. Maria Luisa is a strong name, "it was the name of a queen," said my mom and grandma. I discovered the truth; I went to a park in Seville, Spain, by the same name, built for a queen and felt really important.  As a little girl, the name was too big and serious for me; I wanted something more melodic, more bouncy, and playful; as a result of my frustration, my barbies were always Andreas, Paulinas, Camilas, or any other name that I thought suited me better than mine. Once I started writing, I realized that my name sounded exactly like me; it was strong, it was powerful, and it wasn't of a silly girl; it was the name of a woman. So, Julieta, my darling, this is what I wanted for you. ...