Skip to main content

The kind of mom I want to be for you

As I am buying cute baby clothes and checking items from my "buy for Julieta" list it hits me that I will soon be responsible for another human being's life. I know, I should know this but this anxiety comes and goes. At first is more about the physical changes you are experiencing, then is about planning for when the baby arrives, so between nausea and buying stuff you barely stop and think about motherhood.
I had a great mom; she was kind, sweet, extremely patient and full of wisdom. She was supportive, very involved in our lives and still continues to be one of my favorite people in the planet. My mom had imagination, a good sense of humor, she had style and she carried herself with confidence. I think if I can just be as good of a mom as she was you will be fine. But sadly, I am not my mom, I am me and all I can promise is that I will try to be the following:
- I will try to have most of the answers to your questions. I will continue to read lots of books about different things so that I can teach you more about the world you are living in.
- I will be supportive, this will be interesting when you are crossing thru your adolescence. I will put myself in your shoes and try to give you advice that can work from where you are standing. Even if I disagree with you, I will always defend you and come to your rescue (if needed).
- I will be fun. I will try to come up with fun activities to expand your imagination and creativity. I will sing and dance as much as I can. I will tease you and make jokes to show you not to take life too seriously. I will learn to laugh at myself and find the silver lining in every problem or situation that we need to face.
- I will be demanding. This one you may not like about me, but I have learned that the only way to find out what you are made of is to be tested, to go further, to be pushed. Mediocrity scares me, I want something better for you.
- I will be kind, to the people around me, so that you learn manners and how to behave in a chaotic world. I will be kind even to the people that are not kind back, so that you learn that you don't have to be kind expecting a reward, you should be a good person for the sake of been one.
- I will continue to learn and want things for myself, so that you learn that there is always something to strive for, that you can always be a better version of yourself and that you can always have new dreams.
- I will be strong, so that you can learn to overcome your obstacles, I will try to be a good role model. I will teach you the importance of resilience, of bouncing back, of getting up and trying again.
- I will love you unconditionally, I will love you even when I disagree with you, when you are making mistakes, when you are no longer my baby, forever, I will love you just for been my child.
- I will be a better cook than what I am today. I will try to learn more recipes so I can feed you what you want and what you need, so that you learn good eating habits and you can teach that to your children one day.
- I will be a good wife, the best wife I can be, so that you learn what love, healthy love, looks like. It is hard when you come from a broken home to not pick up any dysfunctional patterns, to learn how to trust people, to communicate in a loving way, but hopefully you will see all those good things in our marriage. It is important to seek love but most importantly the love you deserve. 
- I will be healthy, I will exercise, even though I don´t feel like moving a muscle, I will eat veggies and fruit and less crap, so that you learn what is good for you. I already don´t smoke and I barely drink (I mean now that I am pregnant I don´t drink alcohol at all). My health and choices will help me be there for you for a longer period of time, to witness all the amazing things you are destined to do and be.
- I will be your shelter, I will always be there to comfort you, to hug you and to dry your tears.

These are the things I will try to be for you and with you. All I can promise is that I will give it my all.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unas por Otras

  My dear girls,  In Spanish, we say "unas por otras," which is how we justify the tradeoff: we gain some and lose some. It has been almost 18 years since I came to Canada. I know, think, curse, and dream in English just as much as I do in Spanish. We alternate languages around the house and speak some Spanglish version that only you and Dad can understand. There have been many ups and downs, losses, and many treasures gained. My mind is settled; I no longer wish to live in Mexico; I like my life and this version of myself here. That doesn't mean I don't miss everything about it; I miss driving through a street that brings out childhood memories; I miss the people I left behind, the people who loved me, the people who raised me, the noise, feeling a deep sense of belonging. Still, I convince myself daily that this was the right decision for you and me.  News about Mexico hurt my heart; the government, the violence, the murders, the unpunished crimes against women, the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why I chose to be a mother

My dearest child, You are too young to understand, and having children may not be on your mind. But I had this discussion with my friends not long ago, and it has haunted me for days. I enjoy many things about being a mother; I love to hear you laugh, play, and be happy, have cuddle sessions with you and teach you new things. I do not enjoy my lack of sleep when you are sick, and I can't help you when you get injured, and I have to wait hours in the emergency room to make sure you are okay. Having children, as fulfilling as it is, takes work. You don't usually pop a baby out and get suddenly wrapped in this overwhelming motherly instinct. You don't pull patience out of thin air and become the best mother in the world just by having a child. I wish! Still, I am as tired as can be, and I have also achieved a new level of happiness that I didn't know existed until you came along. My friend said having a baby is expensive; the medical bills, the new baby gear you ne...
Post a Comment
Read more

Understanding Over Judging

My dearest girls,  Many people out there feel it is their right to tell others how to live, who to love, how to behave, and what box they belong to. You have the power to choose whether you want to be labelled or whether or not you belong in a box. Nobody has the right to tell people there is anything wrong with their choices or identity. I would encourage you to seek answers not only from people who are similar to you but also from those who are different, those courageous enough to stand their ground and own who they are, even if it goes against what society dictates.   I have always believed that you can teach yourself to love anyone if you take time to get to know them. There is always something beautiful and unique about any human being. Beauty can be made out of hopes, dreams and joy but also out of struggle and pain. In that sense, any person should be a beautiful canvas of experiences; the more you know, the more you understand, and you care, and the more you care...
Post a Comment
Read more