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About Failure

 


My dearest girls, 

We live in a world of appearances; we carefully curate which side of ourselves we want people to see on our social media accounts, edit the photos, and choose how to bend the truth to make it sound and look exactly as we want. As a result, many of us feel inadequate or unable to keep up with the all-smiles, always-winning people. But really, what do we know? And why should we care? We are afraid to fail or to portray anything other than success and control, even when things are never that easy, black-and-white, or just one thing. It is unreasonable and unnatural to think that thriving individuals have no self-doubt or face a few setbacks on their paths to success. 

We all fail; every day we fail. We fail to meet our expectations, others' expectations, deadlines, presentations, tasks, jobs, etc. Failure is a constant and nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes, we fail even when we put our hearts and souls into it; sometimes things don't work out the way we want, and not everyone can see the big picture, and wallows in that unsavoury moment. I want you to always give your best and trust the process or the journey. We might not be able to see what follows or the next 10 steps, but we can start small and build on it, and eventually, we will get to where we were meant to be. 

To be clear, failure is not fun; it honestly sucks, it burns, it stings. It is not our first instinct to react gracefully and admit defeat, which is ok. Be messy, cry it out, yell, whine, process and deal with it, take a deep breath and move on, try again. Be resilient, resourceful, and willing to fight for your beliefs. True character is not forged out of wins; it is made from failure, defeat, mistakes, and what we do with them. You have seen my process by now. I cry, yell, and argue, but I don't give up; I don't give up on people, not on dreams, and never on you. 

Whatever you do with your life, consider it a win if, by the end of the day, you are still happy with the person you see in the mirror and don't have to alter/compromise a core part of yourself. When it comes to work, just think of it as a part of what you do, not who you are. Nobody will come to your funeral and talk about how you worked 60 hours weekly or how great you were at spreadsheets, etc. 

Also, learn that there are multiple ways to measure success, and none are wrong. Some measure success based on tangible things, like money, houses, cars, and clothes. Some people measure success based on the number and quality of friends and family they have. Some people measure success as a state of peace and calm, part of the journey rather than a final destination. Professional success is about where you are in your life and where you want to go; it is about priorities, which may shift depending on your stage in life and your personal goals. 

There will not be many constants or certainties in life, but know this: one thing you can always be sure of is my love for you. No matter if you win or lose, no matter your title, you are mine and will always have my unconditional love and support. Whatever worries or frustrates you, we can talk it out, strategize, and overcome it together. 

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