Morena

    I briefly discussed the struggles I had growing up with the colour of my skin. I discussed it in terms of being comfortable in your body and accepting and loving yourself. You can do all that... sadly, we are living in very racially charged times. Racism is a systemic problem, even if it is not as bad in Canada, still something to watch out for, as we are (you girls, your dad, myself), a visible minority. What does that even mean? Canada is so diverse; you can hear different languages while walking through the aisles in the supermarket, go to other places of worship, and see different skin colours; you are growing up with that. Since you will witness this diversity since birth, I don't think you will grow up with as many prejudices as I or other people in other parts of the world have. While living here, you will grow up to understand these differences are not a threat; they make us special and unique and make our country stronger and wiser.

    Even with knowing all of this, people might feel the need to label and assume things about you every now and then. Strangers will rank people based on their skin's lightness, eyes, and hair, which is unfair and uncalled for; this is racism. Strangers will also presume to know you and call you "spicy," "hot," "passionate," and "intense" just for being a Latina. Now, I know many Latinas, and we don't all fit the mould. I find myself playing into the stereotype to make people more comfortable with me so they won't fear me and can put me in a box and leave me alone. 

    I have seen racism in the eyes of little girls who have been thought to fear me because I am "Morena" (brown/Latina/Mexican). Morena is what we (the Mexicans and most Latin countries) call people with brown skin, skin that varies in lightness, depending on the state you were born in and how much your family blended with Spanish people, slaves, or Indigenous people. To be "Morena" is not a good thing, at least in Mexico, even though most Mexicans have this skin colour. We are taught with almost innocent popular sayings that choosing a partner with lighter skin colour is better, so your kids are prettier because lighter/whiter is always prettier. White also means money; the darker you are, the poorer you are. Mexicans (gotta say not all Mexicans, but I have heard it enough) brag about their great-grandparents being Spanish, Italian, or even French. They never brag about grandparents being Indigenous people, as if they were less, like something to be ashamed of.

    Like I said before, it took me a while to stop wishing my skin was as fair as my sister's or my mom's. It took me a while to stop protecting it from getting tanned, afraid I would look even darker and, therefore, uglier. When people called me "morena," I would register it almost as an insult, not just as a fact about myself, and that is on me; my insecurities, my reaction to the world I grew up in. How screwed up is that? Canada has helped. I get many people trying to achieve my skin tone by going to tanning beds and calling me exotic, not like a bad word, but like my uniqueness is some sort of treasure, like they value it and even see beauty in it. I have to say, they saw beauty when I couldn't, so I am grateful. I got to reinvent myself and got some confidence back that was taken from me when I was a little girl when strangers would compare me to my sister or other little girls when they would give leading parts in ballet to girls that were blonde and not necessarily knew how to dance better than me, some of that happened without me noticing. Still, I felt it, affecting how I saw myself. 

    It would be nearly impossible to raise a child without any prejudices. I have tried to get rid of most of mine, but they are still there, at the core... hiding. I hope you learn to value people by their behaviour towards you, by their actions and their words, not by the way they look. I hope you don't fear what is different from you and are curious about other cultures and people. At the end of the day, we are just people with no label to attach before; we all love, fear, and try our best.