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The Relativity of Aging

My dear girls, You are young, too young. I remember being your age, wanting to be older, to be able to do more, be more, go further. You are always testing your boundaries, which I understand, in theory. In reality it is frustrating as a mother, because I know what is waiting on the other side of the curtain, and it only gets harder and I wish you could slow down and be present, milk your childhood for all of its worth. But this is why they say "youth is waisted on the young". If I could go back I would realize how lucky and how happy I was when I was little, I would enjoy everything, even school. When I was your age, being forty seemed ancient, like almost a fossil. When I was in University, I remembered my mom stopping in a department store beauty counter and looking at herself in one of those augmented mirrors (which are never a woman's friend), and frustratingly saying "no, no,no", like she could will aging to stop, like she could scare the wrinkles away. It got stored in my brain as a core memory, first because it was funny, second, because I knew I would understand her sooner rather than later.
I am at an age that I don't feel old, but I know I am not young. At times, while hanging out with my very young, very single co-workers, is like I am a Martian, our lives are so different, and I can't even grasp being that young. I know I was twenty once, but it seems like three lifetimes ago. My mom now is 67, and she looks good for 67, hell she looks way younger than that. When I talk to her, she seems like the same mom that raised me, that played with me and danced with me in our living room. Now that I am in my forties, 67 doesn't look so old. Age is such a relative thing to judge people by. I know young people that act like they are already too jaded and tired to live. I know older people that are youthful and fresh, and still looking for new adventures and embracing everything life throws at them, perhaps, with a little more caution. For me, every milestone birthday has caused such a crisis in my head. I start keeping an imaginary checklist of all the things I am supposed to be and achieved by this age, I always end up losing, even though I know in my mind and my soul that I am not losing, that I have done so much and that I can't measure myself against anybody else, I am in my own journey. I hope once you are adults, you don't have the same struggles that I had. I don't dread getting older. Getting older has its advantages; you seem to care less and less about what people think, and start living for yourself, the need to impress is way less that it was before. I don't like the aches and the pains that come from aging, or that my body is not what is was in my twenties, but I know myself better, I like myself better, I am kinder with myself and have developed compassion for others and an understanding of life that my 30-year-old self would envy. My wish for you is to live each stage with enthusiasm, joy, and wisdom. Treasure all the lessons, all your different versions of you, physically, mentally, emotionally, and hit those milestones with pride. Learn and evolve into the person you want to become, make decisions that serve you and align with the person you are or want to become. Aging is a priviledge, it means you are still here, you have things to do and say, and you only have a limited amount of time in this world, it seems like such a waste to spend thinking about wanting to grow older or be younger.

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