Skip to main content

Your Place in the World

My Dear Julieta,

I really hope that when it is time for you to have a job, things have changed for the better. It is very tough to be a woman, standing your ground and fighting for what you believe in. Other women around me are constantly second-guessing themselves, questioning their leadership skills, their knowledge, and intelligence before even questioning the person that is doubting them, to begin with. It is our nature to assume, or better yet, this thing inside our heads that we have been raised to believe in; that everything is our fault, that there must be something wrong with what we are doing, and that we have to correct ourselves. Men don't think that way as a rule; they question their managers or leaders before assigning blame on themselves, and there must be at least the same amount of intelligent women like intelligent men. They just don't go to this dark place that often. We constantly wonder if we are making good choices. If the decisions we are making today may affect our children tomorrow, we feel guilt and pain sacrificing our personal life to advance in our professional life. If we are warm and gentle, we are labeled soft; if we are tough, we are bitches; no assertiveness is included in the statement; it is always a character flaw. 
I hope you grow up to be a confident, intelligent woman that doesn't put up with other people's crap and baggage. I hope you find strength in your womanhood and use these attributes to make you better at your job and not as excuses to justify your shortcomings. Nowadays, women in the workforce are not considered temperamental; they are hysterical, not assertive, vindictive and hateful, are not professional, and are ruthless.
I wish you to see the value of a stay-at-home-mom just as much as the value of the new CEO of a multinational corporation. We choose differently, and there are no rights or wrongs; they are all choices, and we should be happy with our choices as long as they empower us.
Yes, apparently, all of those things can make you think I am a feminist, and you are right. I believe in women, belief in the sisterhood, and in helping other women succeed in a man's world. I believe we are different but not better than men.
My mom told me the other night that when I was a little girl, I reflected on our differences. She said that I was concerned when my grandpa took me to see a big nativity set that they were displayed outside a church due to Christmas. She said I asked my grandpa why Jesus Christ was a baby boy and not a baby girl and that at the moment, I understood and said that boys think they are better than us. My mom is a feminist, but she doesn't know it; my grandma is a feminist too, but she is too conservative to admit that it describes her. They are strong women, full of ideas, and able to carry themselves and support themselves thru difficult times. These women that I grew up with, they think, they like to read, to contemplate a painting, to go see a play, to discuss politics, they are not just there, sitting pretty, acting as furniture.
Julieta, one day you will find your own voice, and I would hopefully have raised you to go against the tide, fight, make changes in the world, and embrace everything that being a woman means.
 

Comments

  1. antiquisimaOctober 3, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    Good luck in this endeavour, my dear Malu. Greetings from Denmark. Enjoy the opportunity to be Julieta's mom. Alejandra Z.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MaluOctober 3, 2014 at 3:51 PM

    Gracias Ale, saludos desde Calgary.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unas por Otras

  My dear girls,  In Spanish, we say "unas por otras," which is how we justify the tradeoff: we gain some and lose some. It has been almost 18 years since I came to Canada. I know, think, curse, and dream in English just as much as I do in Spanish. We alternate languages around the house and speak some Spanglish version that only you and Dad can understand. There have been many ups and downs, losses, and many treasures gained. My mind is settled; I no longer wish to live in Mexico; I like my life and this version of myself here. That doesn't mean I don't miss everything about it; I miss driving through a street that brings out childhood memories; I miss the people I left behind, the people who loved me, the people who raised me, the noise, feeling a deep sense of belonging. Still, I convince myself daily that this was the right decision for you and me.  News about Mexico hurt my heart; the government, the violence, the murders, the unpunished crimes against women, the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why I chose to be a mother

My dearest child, You are too young to understand, and having children may not be on your mind. But I had this discussion with my friends not long ago, and it has haunted me for days. I enjoy many things about being a mother; I love to hear you laugh, play, and be happy, have cuddle sessions with you and teach you new things. I do not enjoy my lack of sleep when you are sick, and I can't help you when you get injured, and I have to wait hours in the emergency room to make sure you are okay. Having children, as fulfilling as it is, takes work. You don't usually pop a baby out and get suddenly wrapped in this overwhelming motherly instinct. You don't pull patience out of thin air and become the best mother in the world just by having a child. I wish! Still, I am as tired as can be, and I have also achieved a new level of happiness that I didn't know existed until you came along. My friend said having a baby is expensive; the medical bills, the new baby gear you ne...
Post a Comment
Read more

Understanding Over Judging

My dearest girls,  Many people out there feel it is their right to tell others how to live, who to love, how to behave, and what box they belong to. You have the power to choose whether you want to be labelled or whether or not you belong in a box. Nobody has the right to tell people there is anything wrong with their choices or identity. I would encourage you to seek answers not only from people who are similar to you but also from those who are different, those courageous enough to stand their ground and own who they are, even if it goes against what society dictates.   I have always believed that you can teach yourself to love anyone if you take time to get to know them. There is always something beautiful and unique about any human being. Beauty can be made out of hopes, dreams and joy but also out of struggle and pain. In that sense, any person should be a beautiful canvas of experiences; the more you know, the more you understand, and you care, and the more you care...
Post a Comment
Read more